When You're Over 50...

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:06 pm

When You're Over 50...

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Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
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In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
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No one expects you to run into a burning building.
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People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
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People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
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There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
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Things you buy now won't wear out.
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You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
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You can live without s-e-x (but not without glasses).
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You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
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You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
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You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
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You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
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You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
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You sing along with the elevator music.
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Your eyes won't get much worse.
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Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
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Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
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Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
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Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
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You can't remember who sent you this.